I was truly honored the to be asked by GAP! to speak at their Annual Luncheon. I was a former GAP! girl and they love when we can come back and tell our stories. This is an incredibly impactful organization in our community and it definitely helped me as a middle schooler. I have reconnected with them on my artist entrepreneur ventures and they have been so supportive of my current journey. This was so special. I am so thankful for them and their support. I was also so nervous to share as I don't do this often, and this was a first in this type of environment. But that is what this journey is all about, doing things that scare me and being vulnerable and authentic. I really appreciate the community of women who were so supportive. THANK YOU SO MUCH GAP!!!! Learn more about GAP! here
Some have asked for a copy of what I shared so I thought I would post it here as my blog I like to share my stories and writing
Here is what I shared:
Thank you Victoria!! Welcome everyone! I’m Courtney though some of you may know my alter ego: the Cowgirl Mermaid. Twenty-four years ago, I was a GAP girl at Jackson Hole Middle School.
I remember a teacher making a pitch about an after-school program called GAP. I thought, Does this have anything to do with the GAP store on the Town Square? At the time, it was my fashion headquarters. Then she explained it stood for “Girls Actively Participating.” A place just for girls? I was in.
They told us it was a space to build confidence. I definitely needed some of that.
I’ve always been a survivor. And when you’re a survivor, you’re looking for safe spaces. hearing “a place just for girls” was my cue for safety.
The Jackson I grew up in didn’t have spaces designed for girls. We were often grouped in with the boys and taught to measure ourselves against them. In a town shaped by cowboy culture and extreme outdoor adventure, femininity can feel like something we have to harden.
But one of my biggest inspirations is MOTHER Nature in all her magic. I spent the first decade of my career as a fashion designer for corporations. this gave me new reasons to reject the patriarchy. As I stared at a zoom screen safe and alone during a worldwide pandemic I hit my limit. Everyday I thought of the people sewing my designs on the other side of world. one where they were not being kept safe from COVID but told to keep sewing. I couldn’t participate any more. Then the Cowgirl Mermaid came to me and guided me to choose my heart and art. That choice started a wild journey that led to upcycling clothes and my life.
Living in your hometown means your past is right beside your present, and that can make transformation difficult. But I’ve found safe spaces that allow me to celebrate who I’m becoming. GAP has been one of those spaces. Somewhere that celebrates every stage of girlhood.
I reconnected with GAP through Victoria. Last October, she invited me to bring my upcycling workshop to the after-school program.
Walking back into my middle school wearing boys’ clothes covered in bows was a full-circle moment. 13 year old courtney never wore what she really wanted to to middle school so 36 year courtney did it for her. Here were girls that were trying to figure out their personal style in a phone centric world. I asked about hand-me-downs, I love to help kids upcycle hand me downs. No one was a big fan of them, The reason? “We didn’t get to pick them out.”
I told them about upcycling—about how you can take something you were handed down and transform it into something that is uniquely yours.
Upcycling has taught me that it’s not where you start—it’s where you go.
I recently learned from a childhood researcher that even just one excited adult can change the trajectory of a child’s life. As I watched the girls put on glitter while excited adults asked them how they felt, whether they needed a snack, and how they wanted to decorate their clothes, I felt hopeful. They were building confidence that would carry them far beyond that classroom.
My favorite part about being an artist is turning my dreams into reality. Magical things happen when you give yourself permission to create. As adults, it can be hard to do. But kids don’t struggle with creativity, They express themselves freely.
Middle school is often the point where outside noise starts creeping in. But confidence makes it easier to stay true to yourself.
Then we can communicate. We know our boundaries. We trust our intuition. We build healthy relationships and communities.
Looking at the community of women here today, I want you to know: I’ve seen how you have changed this town. I feel so much safer living out loud in Jackson today.
I needed the Cowgirl Mermaid to guide me back home after I found myself on an inauthentic path. Today, I live for my inner child’s dreams.
The thing about being a woman is that our confidence ebbs and flows. But here’s what I’ve learned: if you ever need to come home to yourself—or if you’re standing on the edge of a bold left turn and your fear is screaming, “Absolutely not!”—just think about your alter ego.
What would she do?
Probably something a little braver. A little bolder. Maybe even slightly unhinged.
And here’s the secret: it’s still just you.
I often think of my favorite RuPaul quote: “We’re all born naked, and the rest is drag.”
So wear whatever you want. Be boldly you. And listen to that little girl inside you—because she already has all the answers.
XO Courtney
