On the last day of Pride Month I wanted to share one of the most incredible experiences I had this month! Heading to Austin Texas to see my Tomboy Princess Gown in a show about queer joy in Wyoming.
I spent last year creating art to deal with the grief I was experiencing after coming out of the closet blowing up my life as I knew it and starting over as a lesbian. My art practice is how I got to the place where I felt brave enough to come out after spending my life until then in fear. My art practice is then what held me together along the coming out journey and leaving my long term relationship with someone I really cared about. My art practice was what carried me through that first summer alone sitting in the town square with my wild art project while lots of people strolled through and gave me their thoughts. My art practice was what got me through when i went home crashed out and cried a lot and struggled to get off the couch in such immense grief realizing i had let others judgement guide me for way to long. But I started to get off the couch and go to yoga. And then I started making a dress. A gown. Out of carhartt overalls. I had no idea where this dress would go or what it was for but i saw it in my brain and had to bring it to life.
I had turned the overalls into a dress a year or so before, classic upcycle i loved to do as a kid turning pants into a skirt. I had a vintage prom dress that had been given to me from that time as well. I loved the ruffly layers of the dress if made me think of the prom scene in Grease, I love that movie. I cut that in half too and put the pieces together. She was going somewhere. I watch a lot of movies in the this time too, i love movies. I watched Sophia Coppola's Marie Antoinette with Kirstin Dunst. I loved this movie when it came out, ultimate cool girls. I was very re-inspired by the gowns the story and how it met with our current timeline of the new administration. My gown needed a crinoline to be bigger. I was also watching so much drag race, and those queens serve a DIY gown. I can make a gown!!
The gown got bigger. The spring fling pride fashion show was happening again, ok i had runway and a deadline. Bows and sequins and lace came next. My model for the show was all in on the theme, she had the best barbie vibes, my runway category was down the rabbit hole. And I had definitely been through the rabbit hole and back out again. I realized I was making the dress to be something that I wore to feel just like myself. Much of what I make follows this theme. I love menswear silhouettes and fabrics but I love feminine elements to my outfits as well because i really am just a girl.
I made the dress as i was pulling myself through the darkest hole I had ever been in. But the cowgirl mermaid would not let me stay there. She pushed me to keep making the gown, pushed me to get a puppy I loved so much and had to care for and thus had care for myself. She pushed me to get to 4h to keep teaching those little girls how to sew and then they looked to me to keep showing up for them. She pushed me to keep decorating the dino because people love the dino and I love the dino. She pushed me to finish the dress to see it walk the runway. I cheered so loud! I kept going, I got to summer. I got to fall. Another runway appeared in fall at the fair grounds. Amongst the vintage western wear a another magical model walked down looking fresh out of wonderland. A month later a runway appeared in Idaho and now it was my turn to walk the runway. The teens told me how to be brave on stage. I won an award!!! The dress took me on all kinds of adventures.
I saw the call for art asking for queer joy. This dress brought me so much joy through darkness. Another runway appeared in Laramie in the spring. The 4th time it had walked a runway in Wyoming and Idaho in a year LOL. Now that is magic, my inner child couldn't believe it. Could our fashion dreams really come true in Wyoming!?!
At the beginning of this month I headed to Austin to see the dress in the opening of Artemisia tridentata: From Rugged Soil curated by Aubrey Edwards of Alces Community Works. I was very stressed about going I do not have a travel budget right now but the cowgirl mermaid knew i had to go. Things fell into place and I figured it out. Wow I am so glad I went. The exhibit is showing at Mass Gallery. A magical queer gallery in Austin. Around 10 other Wyoming artists also made the trip from all over Wyoming. I was incredibly inspired by all of them and their work. The show was so special and SO WYOMING! I was shook. Maybe my lesbian dreams can also come true there too! But the lesbians of Austin also showed me a world where you can see a lot of lesbians in one space and you just don't feel so alone. Visibility and connection are so important when you are a queer person especially in a rural space. Since I spent so long trying to be a straight girl, surrounded by straight girls once I came out I didn't know how to find girls more like me. Also being older i felt like I may have missed the boat. But what I learn through the more queer community I find is that everyone was once a baby gay and they will let you be that whacky version and only time will help you settle in, no matter what age you come out! Better late than never!! I came back to Wyoming feeling inspired and ready to keep going.
We finished the weekend at Queerbomb, Austins alternative pride with a march down the straightest street in Austin. I waved my pride flag and my lesbian flag. I was with the crew from wyoming. I saw a million ways everyone was living their queer life. Each one is very individual. I felt so proud. I am so happy that gown got me to that march. The craziest things happen when you stick with your art practice. Dive deep, follow your intuition and you really come home to yourself. I'm ending June deeply transformed because of my art, who it brought me to and those incredible women that put on the most epic show and brought us all together.
Artemisia tridentata: From Rugged Soil is on display at Mass Gallery until July 11th
View the online catalogue here
Learn more about Mass Gallery here
Learn more about Alces Community works here
Photo By Bobby Scheidemanm
The Wyoming Crew, Photo By Bobby Scheidemanm
