I have wanted to come back to the blog to share more about my art and process. I was depending heavily on social media, tik tok and instagram over the past year. I really liked using those as my real time process diary for the work I was doing. With the tik tok ban and the bro-ligarchy I want to change my relationship with social media. It feels weird on there now, but also still the place to connect with my community I built. I am also in a transition with my project as I ended my 2 year artist in residence in Midnight Lunch. The transitions from moving from the open studio (sharing my work in real life) and the feeling of wanted to be much more limited on social media has me wondering what to do, where to share, what do I want to share all while I am also trying to figure out what I want my next steps to be. I am going to try to use this space to share more for a little bit and see how that goes.
Right now I have moved my studio home, I am resting my heart, mind and hands as they have all been depleted. I put it all out there, many magical things happened but also it shook me and I got scared. I am trying to care for myself better and get my confidence back up. I also am looking for fresh inspiration.
Last night I did have an idea of where to go for inspiration and I realized I just had to go back to where I started, The Cowgirl Mermaid. She gave me the inspiration and bravery to start and she can help me keep going.
The Cowgirl Mermaid was my original art drag character. When I was the Cowgirl Mermaid I could do things Courtney was scared to do. It started while I was living alone during covid. I would watch Rupaul's Drag Race and dress up. I played with pieces I had collected but didn't dare wear outside the house living in Wyoming. I was working as a designer for an outdoor brand and was living in a very specific world. After spending most of my twenties in NYC, going to art school and then working in fashion. I was missing fashion a lot, and being home alone without pressures from other people I could just play dress up all the time. I also started making things again. In my career as a designer everything was on the computer and I had missed the touch and feel of creating with fabric. I started with a set of 13 wild gloves. Working for a ski brand the place I felt I could marry my two worlds was in the gloves. Decorating gloves has been a ski bum staple. Start with a pair of $30 hardwear store Kincos and go wild. I went wild, I painted them, used faux fur, beads, rhinestones, everything from my fashion world. I would wear my rhinestone gloves skiing and got more compliments from boys than girls, boys love sparkles too! The sparkled with the backdrop of the leather hardwear store glove gave permission for everyone to love the fashion moment. When I had 13 pairs done I posted these to my instagram and my friends all purchased them, all pairs picked up in 12 hours! It was wild! I had no idea people would want to buy them. It gave me confidence to try some thing else. The world began to come out of hiding and I saw more people, I brought elements of my new found confidence in my personal style out and about with jewelry and accessories.
I went on a trip to Mexico, I met this jewelry salesman, he was a wild treasure hunter. He knew my grandma and starting bringing me jewelry that was her style and what I loved too. In that I saw reflected was something a Cowgirl Mermaid would want to wear. It was all a touch western and yet something I imagined would be in a treasure chest at the bottom of the sea. Thats where the name for my personal aesthetic came to me. I bought a bunch of jewelry from him and was going to sell in back home. I started having little sales in a park. I would dress up like The Cowgirl Mermaid and have my treasure chest. I realized I need to do something to the jewelry, I needed to infuse handmade into it as well.
Then my friend's mom was very sick and she called me one day to see if I would want to take her beads and jewelry making supplies as she couldn't make things anymore. I didn't realize how much she had or what her work was. I went over and she showed me what she had, it was incredible. I took home boxes of beads and supplies. As I started exploring there were lots of partially finished pieces in all the tins. I studied her work and realized her genius handmade style. It was fast, upcycled and so cool. I realized handmade did not need to be slow and complicated. Upcycling meant materials were super affordable or free. She used a lot of glue, duh! Its fast, strong and clean. I was so inspired. It was all soo Cowgirl Mermaid too, as we were out west it was all western but sparkly. Just like the rodeo queens! I began upcycling jewelry and then started to go to art fairs. The Cowgirl Mermaid got bolder and wilder. The displays got more epic. I was getting more and more sick of working for someone.
I quit my job in the spring. I was ready to be an artist full time. I had no idea how I was going to do it I just knew I had to. My mental health was at an all time low, my dad had a heart attack my last week of work, he survived. I moved out of my own apt and back into my moms house. I gave up my financial security. I laid in bed a lot that summer but when I got out it was to make art and dress up like the Cowgirl Mermaid. I traveled and saw friends from art school, they inspired me. My friends at home came to my art shows, they inspired me. I spent a week with my grandparents learning about family history while sitting on a dock in a cabin my great grandpa made, he was a Cowboy Merman. I met Abby that summer, I had the most magical night sharing my treasure at a sale at her store Midnight Lunch. In the fall I worked on a movie set, I saw the director, Jean, a very very creative woman, use all her resources in such a clever way to make the project she wanted to make. I went back to Mexico and stubbled into a random store and ended up with a custom Cowgirl Mermaid necklace from a special artist. A way to always have her on me. I missed clothes, for the holiday sales I started upcycling clothes, I made a collection. I documented making it on my tik tok. I was ready to sew a lot. In January Abby invited me to build a studio in the corner of her store. I moved in 2 weeks later. It has been a wild ride since.