Last year I participated in a group fashion show put on by Jackson Hole Pride. I helped come up with the concept for the runway experience. It was inspired by Paris in Burning and ballroom culture from New York City. I first learned about ballroom at fashion school in fashion history class. Queer history and fashion history are very intertwined. I have always loved fashion because it is a way to express yourself using your personal decoration instead of words. You can say everything you want with your outfit. When I was 10 I told my mom I wanted to be a fashion designer when I grow up. I made that dream come true for myself. My fashion dreams have taken be on many adventures. I have challenged myself in ways I never imagined in the name of clothes. My current exploration through Cowgirl Mermaid has led me on the wildest adventure all while staying at home. By focusing on upcycle and my personal aesthetic full time for the past three years I have found out so much about myself too. It is crazy how art comes out and then you see something you didn't even know you were thinking until you made it.
Last year when I was thinking about what I wanted to make for this show I knew I wanted to tell a personal story. I had recently come out of the closet and this felt like a perfect place to share that. Coming out of the closet sucks no matter when you do it, it's very hard but very worth it in the end. A huge weight lifted. During the tough parts I kept saying to myself "Better Late Than Never". I had seen some runway pieces with big writing on them, i was like omg so funny if I just write that. It's very IYKYK.
Next was what to make it out of. I had been gifted a lot of clothes last year in many funny forms. One was three bags of lost and found from the Cowboy Bar. There was lots of denim in there. So much of my straight life happened at the Cowboy, it felt right to cut that up and rearrange for my next phase.
Another friend had found this epic sequin mirror dress thrifting she had dropped off, it was so mermaid disco. It was also a Shein dress, my fast fashion nemesis, so i loved using that to upcycle to make runway ready. That was the base. Then I had gotten lots of jeans from different people, they got thrown in the pile too. We were in teams, so there were two looks for each category. My teammate didn't sew but was very creative and was deep in safety pins for her look. I was obsessed with that idea. I got lots of different safety pins.
The week of the show my step dog died and then my ex boyfriend moved out of the house and so I was really onto my new life so I had to launch into it in a big way. I needed to do it with lots of confidence to stay ahead of the small town critics. Everyone really does die famous in a small town and I had felt the town gossip around my news for the past few months, not a fun feeling. But I thought of all my reality queens and they just own it so I would too. I saw the rehearsal for the finale and everyone was committed. There was a big finale ending and I was like ok I can go big here, this is a safe space. I went back to the studio, I got to cutting and pinning. The process of making this piece was very helpful, to distress something, and pin something many times over with a lot of pricks felt exactly like what was happening irl. But in the end it looked so cool. It really felt like a mermaid coming out of the denim woodwork. It was both feminine and masculine and felt like my personal style come to life. My model Lauren worked it so hard, it was so fun to watch. I totally got to cheer myself on while other people cheered too. It gave me the confidence to go hard into the summer in my upcycle studio pop up. High school me was shook that I did this in my hometown at the center for the arts. I also ended up selling the vest to a very surprising person that coveted it like I couldn't believe, she had no idea what it meant but it also meant something to her.
Fashion is so cool. Being yourself is so fun. Highly recommend using fashion and everyday style to tell your personal story, you never know what will happen.
