Trusting the process
This art journey I have been on has taught me to trust the process. I have been looking back at all my photos from the past 6 or 7 years and am reminded it all makes sense looking backwards. So I don't know what will happen next but something will that will lead to the next step. That is how the Valentines Pins came to be. Since I stopped Bow production right before the Holidays I decided to take a break to care for myself and take my time getting re-inspired.
I went to NYC for a week over NYE for a dear friends wedding. I was reunited with many of my friends from my nyc era, omg it was so nice, I miss them all so much. They inspire me so much and are all incredible people, it was such a special way to ring in 2025 and gave me a lot of hope for the year ahead. Especially coming off a very difficult and lonely christmas. While I was in nyc I went on an art and shopping adventure, one of my fav things to do when I lived there. Sometimes on Saturdays I would leave my phone at home and just go off. I loved that I was around people but also no one knew where I was at the same time. For this adventure I went to Moma and saw so much textile art, more than I had ever seen in Moma before, it showed me how the textile art was moving from craft to art. Also most of the textile art was upcycling, and again felt seen, like i'm not crazy for calling my work art.
Next stop was checking out some upcycle shops and the top of my list was Eva Joan. This is an upcycle repair shop that is so chic and special ah i died! They have all these vintage trims and things you can pick from to add and that is where I found this vintage dead stock heart patch (pictured below). It felt so nice to find that and remember yes I am alone and single but the space is still blank and doesn't mean I will be alone together. And endings mean there will be new beginnings at some point. It also reminded me that I do wear my heart on my sleeve, and that can be scary but wouldn't have it any other way. Also the patch feeling so special, it makes me not want to fill in the blank until its really right, so it reminds me to take my time, take care of myself and trust the process. Being single really helps me recenter and recalibrate.
When I got home to wyoming I needed to get my embroidery machine checked on and I took it to my friend Diana, who I got the machine from. Her sewing shop is in a cabin on her ranch, and it is filled with so many treasures she has made, everytime I go there I leave with a new idea. She mixes processes in a very clever way, that is where i got the idea to machine embroider and then hand sew additional details. I wanted them to feel like a crafty paper valentine that came to life in fabric so you could wear it.
The saying came from the vintage patch and I was thinking about what I would fill in now, and right now its all To Be Determined, or T.B.D. I loved that it looked like initials but reminded me that this moment is not forever and its all To Be Determined. I have been organizing my supplies in my home studio and found lots of felt and vintage lace from the summer studio. I also was very inspired by tik toks during the holidays going back to the felt ornaments with sequins stacked with beads, and I had these vintage sequins I found in idaho last year that were the perfect shape. This all also came about because I wanted to make a project and a drop for a holiday to remind myself what I had been doing last year and i handn't quit, just taking a break. At this time my hands were still aching, not as extreme but I could not machine sew yet. The embroidery machine was nice because you set up and it moves things around, and hand sewing in small amounts is not harsh on my hands. 
I made 5 of the little hearts and decorated each one differently so they were all one of a kind. I had an idea to put them on giant cards, but then i didn't have any paper i liked for that, and I am trying to not purchase any new materials. I did find in the stash a set of mini canvases, and I realized I could pin them on the canvases and then you could either wear the pin or hang it on the wall. I have been drawing a lot with markers lately and I love that it feels like teen angst. Markers make me think of being a teen girl and bubble letters, crushes and writing notes. I made each canvas a little love note to myself.
I wanted to make each one a giant pin so you could upcycle anything for the season. I also was thinking that wearing it around would definitely create conversation, and maybe you might talk to someone you never would have otherwise and a love story could start. Just literally wearing your heart on your sleeve and letting the world know you are a lover girl/gay/they with an open heart!
Making the little canvases has spurred something in me and I have been drawing and painting since and loved combining the sewing with that. So trusting the process I knew this project would kick on a new direction and oh it has! I am going to keep trusting the process and listening to my intuition.
Love, Courtney
Check the Valentines Pins out here
